Ester-A woman who denied her fears
10 Feb 2009 Leave a Comment
in Personal Reading Responses Tags: Ester, fear, fellowship, prayer
‘[Mordecai] sent back this answer: “Do you think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?”’
‘Then Ester sent this reply to Mordecai: “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”’ Ester 4:13-16 (fast foward to the 8 minute mark)
Wow. I think this is one of the heaviest verses in the Bible. Here, Ester is in an amazing position to save her people from the edict that King Xerxes has sent out on all of the Jews, thanks to the vile corruption and hatred of his right hand man, Haman.
First off, I find it odd that even though Ester lives in the palace and is queen, she is not told of what is going on politically at all. Mordecai is the one who tells her via a messenger of what the king has decreed, even though he cannot even enter the king’s gates. I’m not sure if this was just simply how women were treated back then or what, but Ester obviously had no knowledge of the king’s work. Also, I noticed that she very rarely was even allowed to see the king, for she told Mordecai that she had not seen him for 30 days, and that he had not called upon her to see her in the inner court. That’s what her fear was all about in the end- she feared going to him uncalled because for that, the king had one punishment: death. I never realized the reality of such a fear as this because it is so far fetched from our culture today in the US, but the fear was brought to reality when I saw the movie made about Ester, One Night with the King.
Mordecai encouraged her by telling her the truth about god’s ways. He never had any doubt about God’s faithfulness to the Jewish people, for he told her that even if she did not stand up for God, relief would come from somewhere, but why would God have put her in this position of power in the first place? Perhaps He was in control all along, and even though she had been torn away from her quiet life, God had plans for her in this way so that she could save her people. Therefore, if she remained silent now, she would be betraying her God. That puts everything into a new light.
Then Ester’s final response is so strong and a tetch scary. You know she struggled with fear by her hesitation about the whole situation, but then she looks that fear in the eye and says that she cares more for her people and her God than her own physical life. It is the most encouraging and brilliant act I have seen, short of Jesus’ own sacrifice. She says it simply and absolutely: “…if I perish, then I perish”.
Nothing else mattered to her anymore. She knew what God wanted her to do, and she knew that if she didn’t do so because of her fears, then evil would have won her over, and she would be without her God. Fear is often my own biggest enemy. Often, it is simply fear of the enemy, but Ester teaches me hear that fear doesn’t matter. Death doesn’t matter. Pain or loss of anything in this life on earth doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is Him; pleasing Him; obeying Him; being with Him.
I’ve felt before what it feel to not be with God, and let me just say that it is misery. I was empty and had not purpose. I kept becoming distracted by things that had never distracted me before and left me feeling shameful. I was starving and dead, but I had know idea just how close I was to complete spiritual death until I was a least relieved and saw the extent to which I had strayed.
I guess what I’m saying is that I can relate to Ester’s fear. I don’t know what all was going through her head and heart at that point in her life. I don’t know what exactly it was that caused her to turn from her fears and towards her Lord, but if it was me, I would have taken a long look at my strong, horrible memories of misery without God, and it would be impossible for me to choose differently from what Ester chose because it would be better to die a thousand deaths than to be without Him for one day. I know that much is true.
One last thing that ester spoke of that I actually have very little experience in, but believe in is fasting. I know that God moves through people when then turn aside from everything earthly, even food and drink, which our bodies need physically for sustenance, and instead look to Him for EVERYTHING. That is the meaning of the fast, as it is written throughout the Bible, but what about this particular fast, I thought it interesting that Ester asked Mordecai to “fast for her”.
I had never thought of fasting for someone else, I guess it would be similar to praying for someone else, except you are giving up all distractions to fervently pray, relying on Him for even your physical needs, and thus listening more intently than usual. It seems to me like a “super prayer”. I’ve never super prayed for anyone, and this is a new idea to me in the area of fellowshship.
